Do you remember the classic nursery rhyme about the emperor who was conned by two thieving tailors into believing he was wearing the finest robes in the land, while in reality he was actually as stark naked as a jaybird?
Well, after the last installment of the unfolding Nigerian political debacle, nothing much has come to light again so far - save that some have toyed with the idea of either handing over presidential powers to the 'First Lady' or forcing a Northern-selected 'Vice-President' on the erstwhile Acting President.
What's stopping them from going ahead with the charade? Well, simply put, even the best thief refuses to ply his own trade in his own hometown and, so, after all was said and done, moral decency prevailed on public depravity and moral decay.
Anyway, the point of this post is to dispel the idea that nobody needs to see Alhaji ('Dr.') Umaru Musa Yar'Adua - our own dear UMYA or President of Nigeria (PON) - until however long he chooses to ensconce himself in the Aso Rock mansion for recuperative purposes or for however long his handlers choose to keep him from showing himself and his true medical condition to his fellow Nigerians.
Who is paying for all these shenanigans? Is Aso Rock no longer the seat of power?
When elections hold in January 2011, whose name will be on the presidential ballot paper for the ruling party, especially since some northern-born Niger-Delta oil moochers have said that the presidency belongs to them for a second consecutive four years? Is that not assuming or taking it for granted that the so-called ruling People's Democratic Party or PDP has already won the upcoming presidential elections?
I have this gut feeling that next year is going to be quite unstable in Nigeria and will not be surprised if more of the downtrodden people exit the country this year for greener pastures abroad before the well known cycle of political 'do-or-die' mayhem starts all over again.
It is instructive that, even after crude oil was found in commercial quantities in neighboring West African Ghana, the ruling party lost the presidential elections while still fielding the incumbent president John Kuffuor!
That extraordinary developing-nation outcome should have been a slap on the face of their greedier brothers in Nigeria but, as usual, making sense of nonsensical situations has always been a sticking point in my Nigeria, where you cannot see the forest for the trees.
Yes, it can be quite astonishing to realize that, more often than not, those placed - I have no idea most o the time how some people squirmed into the lofty heights they attain in government service - in positions of authority have no idea at all what the right thing is to do once in office other than amassing a personal war-chest in as short a period of time as possible before somebody else hitherto unknown gets to replace him/her in the seeming perpetual Niger Delta National Cake Eating Competition.
What can be done to right the wrongs of the past century as a nation? Jesus said, 'Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's.' I say many things but the following truths I can list out for a better Nigeria:
1. Scrap the National Character and Quota System phony 'principles', so that the best candidates will always be put forward for any vacancy in schools, colleges, universities, government offices and establishments or parastatals.
2. Build our roads with a concrete cement foundation instead of just asphalt on compacted dust, so that the roads will still be motor-able after the Rainy Season - yes, October through March should be designated as road building months and contractors working outside this time frame should be prosecuted for 419, if you know what I mean.
3. Federal and State establishments in each state of the 'federation' should be manned by the best staff chosen without bias during job posting exercises, irrespective of place of origin, so that these government officials would be in the best position to give their best from their experience without being jinxed by the existence of "untouchable staff members," whose main duty invariably appears to be to literally serve as the 'eyes and ears' of their political godfathers and consequently to usurp local authority geared against the overlords in the more centralized senior-authority positions in the political capital-city offices.
4. Appoint an Independent Electoral Commission or INEC Chairman from the Northern or South-West region instead of the usual opaque lot from the old South-East or Mid-West regions and then reverse it and do the exact opposite pattern for the National Census Board, the Senate Presidency and the Speaker-ship of the House of Representatives - perhaps, that should change a few more of the rather mischievously entrenched old ideas in our lopsided national existence.
5. Let the Acting President continue in power until the new Constitution has been crafted by less arcanely crafty but also famously-experienced men and women and patriotic lawyers, who will be committed and willing to produce a truly workable and equitable document beloved of all citizens for its fair, impartial and ombudsman-like approach to national issues.
6. Send the sick former President back to his home State of Katsina for full recuperation amongst his own kinsmen and provide the ailing president with a pension for life, at the expense of the State, since he was assiduously working on national assignments when he took ill - and then. when a new president has been sworn in after the next national elections, withdrawing the pension packages of all his predecessors in office in order to discourage a new set of rascals from assuming office with only the aim of looting the treasure for his or her godfathers and infesting the nation with even more problems with no memorable legacies or any visible dividends of democracy.
7. Give the oil-rivers lands back to the Niger Delta people so that they can have a sense of belonging and self-determination within the country - the new and truly federal government can still derive more than enough revenue for national defence, infrastructural facility building, Civil Service salary payments and other budgetary demands from taxes on indigenous oil revenues and offshore oil- and gas-block sales to foreign multinationals.
How would you like it if some people ganged up to drive you out of your ancestral home town without a dime in compensation or an alternative place of abode because of the mineral wealth beneath the land surface? Even the USA has apologized to the Native American Indians; and why not Nigeria, which copies her Presidential democratic system?
In my own humble opinion, the simply fiduciary Seven-Point Agenda fashioned above will most likely lead Nigeria to fulfill, at last, the role of Giant of Africa meaningfully. By the way, Jesus was Persecuted and then Crucified for His path-clearing and un-Israel-like ways.
I can only hope that, with time, my little contributions to national development will be rewarded one day - yes, I used to write in the national dailies but my incisive ideas were always controversial but also stolen, while I got no credit at all in any way - with a 'National Honor' or two instead of becoming a witch-hunting target for the amorphous "cabal" - or rightly "cartel", since they act for selfish reasons alone - currently leading Nigeria into disarray and my fellow Nigerians into the diaspora...
'Now that the old, mostly self-serving ministers have been sent packing, perhaps the annual Jos-in-Plateau-State crisis can be nipped in the bud finally. In addition to that, Libya's 'Qaddafi' said just this week that Nigeria should be split into two in order to solve all her problems.
Nothing could be further from the truth! The time for that idea has already been overtaken by the acts and in-actions of our past over-glorified leaders, who had their eyes and noses firmly fixed in the direction of the oil money.
The fact that everyone seems to be dodging to acknowledge is that the average Northern Nigerian Hausa-Fulani Muslim cannot bear to have any 'unbeliever or infidel' occupying a comparatively higher social status in life without clamping down and exerting that famously violent and brutal Usman-Dan-Fodio jihad tendency.
Even before Nigeria's independence, they wanted Jos for themselves and nothing would stand in their way, including the nebulous army. Anyway, you just make sure that you have a great day, while you ponder those seven-point ideas above.
UPDATE - Thursday, March 18, 2010: This post has been interfered with, right from the point of writing to posting and editing, by Unknown Persons (UPs) and, quite frankly, I am tired of editing it; so, bear with me as you read the Great Wall of Unbroken Text (GWUT).
Ha-ha...The 'Remove formatting' button did the trick at last! However, the update above still holds true: the "SAVING" button got stuck perpetually and, had I not copied and saved my post elsewhere, I would have lost this entire post without a trace.
Happy reading, now that the GWUT is gone - hoping that the UPs won't be grinding their teeth. ;)
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